[vc_row][vc_column][vc_zigzag][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row equal_height=”yes” css=”.vc_custom_1550477468065{margin-bottom: 100px !important;}”][vc_column css=”.vc_custom_1512706034075{padding-right: 25px !important;padding-left: 25px !important;}” offset=”vc_col-lg-6 vc_col-md-6″][vc_custom_heading cms_ch_type=”default” text=”My Story” font_container=”tag:h3|font_size:45|text_align:left|color:%238b7163″ use_theme_fonts=”yes”][vc_raw_html]JTNDaHIlMjBjbGFzcyUzRCUyMmRpdmlkZXJfMzBfMSUyMiUzRQ==[/vc_raw_html][vc_column_text]
Like every other woman I wanted to become a mother. With 7 years of medical interventions, endless numbers of check-ups, some surgeries, 5-6 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVF we finally got pregnant in our 3rd IVF attempt.
The day we got the news of being pregnant we were happy, delighted and were sailing on the 7th cloud, it felt all the struggle, all the pain was worth it. The feeling of being pregnant gave us much hope and we started nesting for the newborn. Everything was so rosy and beautiful till my 1st trimester. However I was asked to be extra cautious and had to pop 10-11 tablets daily, I was asked to self-administer small injections on my thighs to sustain the pregnancy. Consuming so much medication caused a lot of physical discomfort but the dream of holding our baby in my hands gave me all the strength to tolerate and accept everything joyfully.
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column css_animation=”fadeInRight” width=”1/2″ css=”.vc_custom_1689849085916{padding-right: 25px !important;padding-left: 25px !important;background-position: center !important;background-repeat: no-repeat !important;background-size: cover !important;}” offset=”vc_col-lg-6 vc_col-md-6 vc_hidden-sm vc_hidden-xs”][vc_single_image image=”3851″ img_size=”large” alignment=”center” el_class=”custom-image-frame”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row css=”.vc_custom_1689576645164{margin-top: -80px !important;padding-right: 10px !important;padding-left: 10px !important;}”][vc_column][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner][vc_column_text]Everything was fine in the first trimester, it was the 5th month when I suddenly realised a streak of blood and leaking liquid one morning and we rushed to the hospital, we realised that the womb lining was too thin to hold on to itself, doctor advised immediate surgery to patch up and tie the leaking amniotic fluid. The day of surgery still gives chills up my spine as I was suddenly taken for… entering the OT was very so scary that I was unable to control my breath, Taking that injection up my spine still gives me chills. During the hospital stay I started blaming myself for not relaxing and felt if I had have not seen the Dr in time, I could have lost my dream of having a child.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/2″][vc_single_image image=”3852″ img_size=”large” el_class=”custom-image-frame”][/vc_column_inner][vc_column_inner width=”1/2″][vc_column_text]
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People around me had always spoken and discussed how difficult it is to raise a child especially infants who cannot express their needs. thinking about all that made me so worried that I started feeling whether I’ll be able to manage the tiny infant, if at all it comes to life.Anyhow, I was somehow able to pass 3rd trimester with all the worry and physical discomfort, and we were blessed with a lovely daughter through a C section after 8.5 months of pregnancy on 4th Dec 2019. Holding Shrinika in my hands made me forget all the pains and struggles we went through to bring her into this world. Our dream came true finally.
All the happiness though, was short lived. I again got overwhelmed by the nurturance required for such a small infant. It took me some time to understand her. She used to have bad colic pain for 4-5 months, seeing her in pain and we being helpless, helping her with medical and home remedies also didn’t help as she was lactose intolerant and a large portion of my food was cow milk.
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Her problems were undiagnosed for 4-5 months. Seeing her in pain made me realise my inadequacy in handling a child. This guilt started manifesting in my behaviour, like frequently crying and feeling helpless. To make matters worse, Covid hit and there were lockdowns everywhere. A child is a big responsibility and sometimes I used to be overwhelmed by the kind of attention and love care she used to require. I had help but working with the child tirelessly was making me only think about her. Sometimes I used to feel so anxious and doubtful about me taking care of her properly or not. Crying for no reason and unable to sleep thinking if she is alright were the two prominent issues that I started observing in myself. Keeping myself safe from Covid, taking care of the baby, became a daily survival issue, it was really scary. It was as if my worst nightmares were all coming true.
I was going through a very rough phase of my life where I was unable to connect with anything around me. I was just doing the things without any interest.
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Minimum self care, just feeding and helping my child. There used to be moments where I wanted to smile, laugh and enjoy from my heart. But I couldn’t because everything became so mechanical for me that I became unconnected with myself. This was my life’s biggest dream, I had gone through so much of it, left my career, I had so many injection marks on my body that a lot of my lower body had gotten numb. All the hormonal imbalance due to pregnancy and all the medications and surgeries to ready my body to bear a child had taken a toll on me mentally as well. I was almost on this mission for 7 years and not this! It was tough, very tough.
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Mothers go through tremendous physical pain during pregnancy. We women also have our monthly cycles which are physically and mentally tasking, may be God prepares us for the pain of child birth. If anything, I had passed through much worse of physical discomfort. So I realised my situation could be more mental than physical. Me, being a psychologist myself, took so long to realise this! I desperately wanted to come out of this situation, I started to read about it, I also spoke with other mothers of kids with similar age, and with my doctors. What slowly started dawning on to me is that, I was not alone, I was not the only person going through this mental turmoil. This mental turmoil I was undergoing was a form of Postpartum depression. When I realised the extent of this situation and what it is doing to the mothers, I was shocked! In India, 1 in 7 mothers go through this. Imagine 70K babies are born in India every day, that means around 10K mothers get into Postpartum depression every day in India. In some other countries like US, UK, Australia, these ratios are even worse. And it’s not just the mothers, the fathers and sometimes the whole family suffers, it’s a monster that needed to be tamed, internally first. I had to start with myself.
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I resolved to come out of it and help mothers who pass through this ordeal. I slowly started practising some of the ways to come out of this, I also consulted my fellow psychologist friends and doctors who helped me immensely in my journey. Slowly, things started improving, it was as if I could breathe again, I could smell, laugh, feel good about myself, I could love myself, my little girl, my family and those around me back again! It was as if I started getting the spring in my feet back, as if I could Dream again! It was as if I had started getting a new life. It was as if I was Reborn.
In this process, I also found my calling. I resolved to help mothers going through this ordeal. I resolved that I will not stop until I am able to reach each and every mother and their lovely kids and their families. That day my dreams took a rebirth. That day, Dreams Reborn was born.
We cannot connect the dots looking forward, but only back words, nothing in life happens without reason. Maybe God made me pass through all this so that I get ready for this, and help mothers passing through the same difficulties.
[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner][vc_column_text]Being a psychologist is one thing, but I could now relate to the mothers’ situation having gone through it myself. Nothing in life is unsurpassable, a little help is all that is needed, its one internal resolve, its one call, one email, one little cry for help. Coming back to life from Postpartum depression may take time, but the journey must be taken and it is worth taking. Hope I or someone like me help you (or your dear one) get out of this ordeal, may your dreams take a rebirth.
If you or any of your near and dear one is going through what may possibly be a PPD, Please empathise with her, support her and seek help.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][vc_column_text]
Post Script
This issue of Perinatal (Prenatal and Postpartum) depression is way less spoken and lesser talked about, but it is such a huge problem that needs to be solved. Let me share some rough numbers:
There are almost 70K babies born in India every Day (25 million per year). Globally around 5 times of this (India is roughly one fifth of global population).
At conservative estimate around 1 out of 7 mothers get into depression before and after their child’s birth, extrapolating it to an year we find that, at this moment, there are 3.5L lac mothers in India and almost 2Cr (20 million) mothers globally suffering from depression as we speak! This makes around 0.25% population of this planet. As countries, as communities, as workplaces, we are losing so much because of this. These mothers need to join the active life back again. This world can be a so much better a place for them (and for the world itself). This problem needs to be resolved. I may not be able to do it alone, if any you wish to join me in this campaign, you are most welcome. Everyone reading this can help, the least you can do is to direct any mother of a newborn seemingly suffering from depression to Dreams Reborn.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row full_width=”stretch_row” equal_height=”yes” css=”.vc_custom_1690440549270{background-color: #a77676 !important;}” el_class=”visible-overflow”][vc_column css_animation=”fadeInLeft” width=”1/2″ css=”.vc_custom_1692360124418{margin-top: -80px !important;padding-right: 0px !important;padding-left: 0px !important;background-image: url(https://dreamsreborn.in/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Neha-Bhardwaj.webp?id=4218) !important;background-position: center !important;background-repeat: no-repeat !important;background-size: contain !important;}” offset=”vc_hidden-sm vc_hidden-xs” el_class=”bottom-background-position”][/vc_column][vc_column offset=”vc_col-lg-6 vc_col-md-6 vc_col-sm-offset-0 vc_col-xs-12″][vc_custom_heading cms_ch_type=”default” text=”Professional Background” font_container=”tag:h3|font_size:45|text_align:center|color:%23ffffff” use_theme_fonts=”yes” css=”.vc_custom_1689576826429{margin-bottom: 50px !important;}”][vc_column_text]
I have started Dreams Reborn with a mission to help mothers suffering from Postpartum Depression (PPD). My personal experience of being into the struggle to become a mother and getting pregnant was filled with challenges, guilt, and overwhelming emotions. Overcoming postpartum depression, I now help mothers facing similar difficulties, spreading empathy, support, and hope.
I have 15+ years of experience in counselling and psychological therapies. Along with my personal experience of ppd, I also adopt a combination of CBT, NLP and Hypnotherapy while working with the mothers suffering from PPD.
I believe in cognitive restructuring wherein the individual is assisted in identifying and changing unhelpful thinking patterns developed over years. I believe it is possible to survive absolutely anything with the right support mindset and strategy.
I am BA (Hons in Psychology) and MA (Clinical Psychology) from BHU. I have attained an advanced diploma in child guidance and counselling from NIPCCD – Delhi and Advanced Practioner’s course in Cognitive Hypnosis and NLP from ICHARS – Mumbai.[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]
Neha Bhardwaj
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